What I did differently!

This journey does not have a perfect ending (yet)!! However, I decided that I can't focus on what I can't control.  I decided that I was going to work on me.  I am not the perfect wife, many days I didn't even come close to hitting the mark.  I turned my focus toward God and he began to do a good work in me.  It was not and still not easy.  There were days that I sulked in my bitterness that MY plan did not go right.  I was angry at God and "him".  Everything should have been perfect, where did I get that from?? 
God began to purify my heart, it was ugly.  I had to learn to be a good house keeper, I had to learn to keep myself up, I had to learn to speak less and listen more.  I had to learn to speak the word of God over my husband.  Like I said I had a lot to do.  I had to learn to NOT call my friends every time something went wrong.  I had to go to God the only person that could fix "it"!!  I found that during my time with God that I had developed a self-righteous attitude. I had all the answers and I was going to lead this family because I had God.  This wasn't God's plan for marriage or His plan for my life.  Healing had to take place and I didn't even know I needed anything at all. 
What I've noticed since this approach ( that I still fail at time to time) is that the more I allow God to fix me the better I am able to respond to the situations that I have no control.  I do did have control issuses, I lacked trust in his leadership for this family, I use the excuse that he didn't have an example (he was raised by his mother) , I thought of every reasons not to trust God with my marriage.  Now, that I've worked on me I can see the hand of God more and more in my life.
I didn't talk about the things I felt he did wrong because they aren't important when I had so much work to do on my own.  There is definitely NO GREATER LOVE THAN THE FATHER'S LOVE FOR HIS CHILDREN!!!