Tough Day!!!

This was one of my juices today!!! It was tasty, but it does not replace bacon. Today I wished I knew why people would "choose" a raw lifestyle. I totally wouldn't be "raw" if I were not fighting cancer. ( Maybe that's the problem)  TMI alert- my bladder is like WHAT is going on? I was so miserable, going to pee every 2 seconds! So not cute!!!! I'm praying that my body will adjust to this new amount of liquids.  

Hard things today- wanting a bite of brownies I made for new neighbors, going to the restroom 100 times, the vague-ness of all this cancer stuff, getting some food choices wrong, missing ladies Bible study and feeling like I was gonna cry all day ( I mean really tears come on already, geez). I hate the feeling that one thing might trigger my emotions, ugh!

Now that that's out the way, I'm thankful! I'm thankful for friends that listen to me ramble on about nothing and everything, I'm thankful for water Zumba, I'm thankful for God's plans for my life. I live every day to make him proud. 

Camp, cancer, and other things.

Today this awesome group of youth left for camp!!! I'm so excited my girlies were able to go. They needed a break, time away from all the "c" talk. This is a huge step for them. They've never been away from home longer than a night. They're not huge fans of sleepovers either. However, we prayed and felt they needed a little time away. My prayer is that they experience God like never before, that their faith is deepened, that they're strengthed for the road ahead.

I thought that the road would be easier when I decided a more wholistic approach to #operationevictcancer.  Umm... No!! Do you want to know how many "natural approaches" there are? Here's a few: whole foods, alkaline diet, budwig method, gerson therapy, raw foods, no carbs lots of animal protein. The list goes on. So now I'm faced with choosing one, sticking it out and praying for good results. 

This is what I'm currently reading. Brain overload! Lord, lead me to Your plan for my health and healing. My brain is overloaded with information. I realize Jesus that I've taken the wheel ( once again) and I'm NOT leaning on you to direct me healing. Lord, I repent! You've got this! I will be still ( now) and know that you are my God.

I'm thankful for this week alone with my son. He has plan to teach me how to ripstick. I'm thankful for conviction, I cross the line all the time. I'm thankful for the will to want better for my health.

A little happy for my day!!

Today I received the sweetest card and gift card in the mail. One of the sweet ladies from my homeschool group sent this to me. I'm telling y'all a trip to Whole Foods is super motivating. It recharged me. I REALLY don't want chemo or radiation. Right now I have a one track  mind, #operationevictcancer!!!! Bring on the veggies, fruit, and alkaline water. I'm ready to do this. ( please remember how pumped I am so when I'm having a hard day y'all can remind me)!!!

It's time to do this!!!

When I first started this process my resolve was I would only do chemo and radiation if the cancer was present in my lymph nodes. Well, my lymph nodes are fine! So, now I must make one of the hardest decisions in my life. Will I use unconventional methods to heal my body of cancer? Some say it's very selfish being that I'm a single mother of 3 and others feel nutrition is the only way. At the end of the day I must live or die with the decision that's made.  I'm praying and seeking the face of The Lord. Both choices are risky, neither are a hundred 100%. One choice could lead me to being fully restored and the other could lead to prolonged life, lots of side effects and unfunctional body parts. What I want most is not only to have my life prolonged but to be cured of disease in my body. Which path will lead to that? 

Today I'm thankful for food, food that heals. I'm thankful for my support team, I'm thankful for my children who are living this with me. I'm thankful for God's healing and discerning power.

Miracles!

Today I was scheduled for a procedure to biopsy my lymph nodes. I was nervous and hungry, I couldn't eat or drink after midnight last night. My mom took the day off to be with me. They were going to sedate me for the procedure. Not fun!!!! Well, well, well, God had other plans and I'm so thankful He did. The doctor decided to do another ultrasound before sedation and he found nothing! I jumped up so quick!!!!! I can't do anything but  sing praises to God. 

I'm thankful for every single miracle! It is my belief that God can heal me of cancer if he chooses. I don't mind being used for his handy work! Signs and wonders shall follow those who believe.

Radiation- umm no!!!

I really feel like I'm in a Dr. Seuss book. I do not like that Sam-I- Am! So far, I don't like anything that's being said. Nothing, not one part. Well maybe the, "you're done" part. Today I keep repeating the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my Shepard..... 

Before I let myself go down a deep road of dispair I will remember what I'm thankful for. 

Today, I'm thankful for friends that can stop at the last minute and go with me to the doctors office. I'm thankful for every call, text and email. I'm thankful for my mom that let me ball my eyes out on the phone!! I'm thankful.

The day I accepted the news!

Today, today is the first day I've really come to terms with what lies ahead. Friday I was diagnosed with cancer. The word cancer feels like a cancer, it eats way at every aspect of your life. From the time the words left his lips, I've been in a fog. The process felt so routine, I'm just another one of the hundreds of patients he sees every day. It's like an out of body experience. I don't feel sorry for my self, but sure feel sorry for my children. I feel sorry for all the people who have chosen to walk this out with me. Once again (and always) I must fix my eyes on Jesus. He is mighty in every way. I don't know what is before me but I know HE is already there.